More Halloween horror coming atcha now with an exceptionally ghastly category this time: misses. Some brave players have stared in to the gaping abyss of an empty net and… completely fluffed it. Warning, the following footage will make you cringe like an old Russian farmer pitchforking her foot.
Noah Hickey vs some team in New Zealand 1997. Little is properly know about this clip, and that is probably for the best for Hickey. In a New Zealand league game between Hickey’s Central United and… another team, Noah managed to miss on the line. After a successful dibble Hickey attempted a snazzy move that the world will never see. Because he stuffed it.
He had trials at Watford once… may have fitted in.
Yakubu vs South Korea, World Cup group stage 2010. The Yak has always been a reasonable goalscorer but the pressure of the World Cup in South Africa was just too much for him. It’s cool though, it’s not like that goal would’ve taken Nigeria through the group stage. Oh…
Diego Forlan vs Juventus, pre-season friendly 2003. So you’re Diego Forlan. You spend your time being one of the best players in the world and having sexy girlfriends. In between this, you have a cheeky friendly against Juve. You decide to show your new-ish teammates your work rate by chasing a ball back to the goalkeeper. You are slightly surprised when the ball falls between you and an empty goal. ‘Slightly’ doesn’t sum up the amount of surprise over what came next though:
Fernando Torres vs Man United, Premier League 2011. You were expecting this one. As I’ve mentioned before, Nando isn’t the man he once was. But he still is a striker, a player you would’ve expected to rise to big occasions. What makes this clip so shocking (so shocking it is impossible to find online) is the brief stepover before ‘the event’.
It was a flashback to genius once possessed by Torres; a look into the beautiful career of one of the most lethal goalscorers ever. A split second later and present reality come crashing back.
Ronnie Rosenthal vs Aston Villa, Premier League 1992. You may have heard Torres’ sin against goal scoring referred to as a ‘Rosenthal’. This is why:
He’s scored that goal until literally the last millisecond.
Kei Kamara vs LA Galaxy, MLS 2010. The others on this list have been bad, horrible even. However, this entry from Kansas City Wizard’s Kamara is far and away the worst miss ever. It is a crime against humanity. What he does is exceptional in so many ways: It was about two inches out. He turned a goal into a foul. He fails at one of the most basic fundamental parts of football. Not only would your gran have scored it, her tea set would have.
Keep it here for the final part of the Five Footballing Halloween Horros.