They are dropping like flies. Seems if you’re a Premier League manager of anyone but United or Arsenal then you have to buy your christmas presents before november. Mere hours after Di Matteo was on the wrong end of a firing, Mark Hughes found himself out on his ear.
Of course no one was coloured surprised. Sparky and QPR had a grand total of four points thus far, with only one on the road, and none coming from wins. This may have been more understandable had the R’s not bought an entire new squad – which were performing with all the cohesion of a house of cards in a washing machine.
Let’s hear how it’s gone down…
Well now how has this happened? I literally signed anyone I could get. If they sounded like they were better than what I had then I snapped them up, it didn’t matter if they actually were – it’s called progress.
Heidar Helguson, our top scorer last season? Who needs him when you can have Bobby Zamora fluffing sitters or Djibril Cisse getting sent off. Why have Joey Barton getting sent of when I can have Samba Diakite getting sent off? And who would’ve thought that replacing players’ player of the season and fans’ player of the season Paddy Kenny, with the confident Robert Green would fail me?
I can’t believe that team players such as Cisse and Taarabt aren’t gelling with other selfless players like Junior Hoilett and Esteban Granero. I’m living in a mad world.
Oh dearrr. I’ve tried not to be like the others. When we meet at the annual peasant hunt the others sit around the money pool talking about their sackings. I vowed not to be like that with Sparky. I publicly backed him whilst throwing money at him and he gave me no choice but to fire him.
I was sure I’d chosen the right guy to be cautious with our millions. I mean look at the quality signed at City; Robinho, Wayne Bridge, Gareth Barry, Roque Santa Cruz, Tal Ben Haim, Jo… You can see how wise the signings were by how many of them are still there now… … shit.
Get me a AirAsia flight to Sandbanks.
Queens Park Rangers Fans
Oh Neil Warnock you dusty old crab why did we forsake you? Now we’re looking for our seventh manager in four years, we have a hard enough time keeping up with our starting XI! I know we have to face facts that we aren’t a top team but I enjoyed our relegation battle last season with players that I actually liked more.
The only thing I can think to do is hold up a banner asking for ‘Arry’s magic touch to arrive and hope that they feature it on Match of the Day which he hopefully will be on…
I could bend your ear off talking about the injustices here. I get them promoted, keep them up, then get fired for being in 17th – Hughes gets millions to spend and is allowed to reside at the bottom of the table for weeks on end. He got all the finance that I earned and blew it. He let Adel Taarabt ruin the team, whereas I had him win Championship player of the season. He basically fired the team I created and made a new, worse one. I tell you I could talk all day about this but I won’t. He got Joey Barton who is a perfectly serviceable player…
QPR aye? Hmm I was rather looking forward to taking the Ukraine job. No idea how I was gonna commute there from Sandbanks mind. I guess I could go for another crack at the Premier League. Where are QPR? Let’s see… rock bottom. Triffic. Better check the electric windows in the Merc, I’m gonna be giving a lot of interviews.
Unfortunately we don’t really have anything sarcastic to say. They pretty much gave Hughes as much time as they could, else they’d be relegated at christmas. So let’s give him some credit for… something. Park Ji-Sung for a few million isn’t bad I guess.
The QPR Dressing Room
Derry: Well there goes another one lads
Taarabt: You’re still here Shaun?
Derry: Yeah apparently I’m the vice-captain. Sigh. We’ve hit a real dark patch here guys.
Ferdinand: What did you call me?
Mackie: Calm down guys, we don’t have a manager at the minute, we’re gonna have to figure out things like penalty taker ourselves…
Taarabt, Cisse, Granero, Fabio, Hoilett, Faurlin: I’ll take them!
Dyer: I wouldn’t mind taking one…
All: Who the hell are you?
Post or Worse
Well it was coming wasn’t it. I’ve never rated Hughes at all, he thinks you can just point the money gun at anything that moves and it’ll be fine. What he doesn’t realise is that the teams that do that (Real Madrid for example) have excellent managers that blend their signings well and balance the big egos. As for Redknapp coming in, they might as well start calling him Harry Buoy – his mission is to always stay afloat.