Roberto Mancini Canned: Some Reactions

Oh come on, it was always going to happen. We can’t even act surprised anymore. Man City are built on such unsustainable principles of huge transfer and wage expenditure that they basically have to fire their manager if they don’t win the Prem/Champions League.

They were all drinking from the cocktail of business failure made from one part sky-high expectations, one part massive expenditure, one part under-performing prima donnas, shaken over language barriers, and served with a dash of Champions League inexperience all poured into a glass shaped like Samir Nasri’s head.

Let’s see how the people in-the-know are reacting:

Roberto Mancini

Naawwww. Well yes actually, I just begin every sentence with that. Suppose I won’t be doing that anymore. No more bike rides in my spandex to the training ground, no more shouting ‘Frosties’ in Italian at Steven Gerrard, no more sharp, fashionable hats. After my disinterested players lost to Wigan I thought dissing the incredibly, incredibly powerful management above me was the perfect way to keep my job. And Pellegrini to take over? Just look at his wrinkles! Bet he doesn’t even have a Milanese suit.

Sheikh Mansour

Huh. The Manchester City Blues didn’t win the league. And we lost to Athletico Wigan in the Football Cup. I had to fire Mr. Mancini because the senior board members of the private equity firm said it was the right thing to do. Oh well at least we’re getting nearer to hosting the World Cup here in UAE. All I have to keep doing is pumping some spare change in and we’ll win things now and then. At least I’m the deputy Prime Minister of a country to keep me busy while the board decide who to appoint.

‘Dammit, how many of these are there down this sofa?’

Man City Fans

Okay, we don’t have to replicate United in every aspect. Finally a weakness in those bloody arrogant Reds has opened up and we get rid of Bob. Sure we never looked like winning the title this season. In fact Chelsea might well take our 2nd place spot. And that loss to Wigan. I’ll be living that down at work for another few weeks. Plus I only caught us winning in Europe like three times in two seasons…actually why wasn’t he sacked sooner?

Mark Hughes

A-ha! See if you just point money at all highly rated players then you get fired! Sure I know his objective was a lot harder than mine. And he actually accomplished it at one point, as well as picking up an FA Cup. And he’s younger than me. Sigh, someone hire me.

‘Send it to every player who is worth £20mil or more and has one year left on their contract’

Manuel Pellegrini

So they’ll add another zero to my salary and I don’t have to change any of my scarves. I’ll deny it until Malaga’s last game and then I’ll fly over.

The Man City Dressing Room

Barry: Well despite all our huffing and puffing on the pitch, Mancini’s out lads.

Milner: You really huffed and puffed around the pitch well Gaz.

Barry: Thanks James, but no one huffs and puffs harder than you.

Nasri: What about me? I’ve been putting in a real shift!

Everyone: …

Kompany: This is useless guys, we’re all going to fall apart!

Clichy: No way, I am fully dedicated to…umm

Kompany: For god’s sake, it’s written on your hand!

Clichy: I know I know. Man City. I wanted to get it without looking.

Tevez: Tevez sad.

Kompany: Look at poor Carlos, he won’t touch his food and keeps trying to sneak off to the golf course.

Rodwell and Sinclair: Don’t worry this club has a bright future in us!

Kompany: Hi, It’s Vincent Kompany here, yeah hi, is that Mr.Guardiola?

Post or Worse

What can you say? He knew the game he was getting himself into. With all that money to spend it was always going to be down to the boss to blend his purchases together. Bob did that well for two seasons, but in this last season City haven’t been an attacking force.

Italians have strict defensive lines running through their blood but with Aguero, Tevez, Silva, and Toure in the side it isn’t acceptable to fail to score against Wigan in an open game that should have meant so much. The attractive football that was signaled by these signings never materialised with consistency and it’s this that cost Roberto his job.

The stories emerging now about him being too distant from his players sound like the whines of prima donna players, and he should be remembered as a good manager. If for nothing more than that title-winning goal.

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