9 Predictions For The 2013/14 Season

You know what the Telegraph did? They produced their 20 page ‘Total Football’ supplement, featuring predictions for the season, and forgot to ask me! They even asked Dwight Yorke!

Because the guy just commands respect…

Well don’t worry Telegraph editors, I know you didn’t mean it and to help you out here’s my predictions…

…now all I gotta do is stick them in every edition…

Premier League Champions Will Be – Chelsea

Man United will wobble; no strengthening of the squad currently, and despite the players being a good unit, it was Fergie that really made a decent team a championship winning team. Man City are an unknown quantity; Pellegrini is new to the EPL and so are many of their new players. Chelsea don’t have these issues though. Their team is strong and balanced (bar the striker position) and their manager has stepped back in with the snugness of a well-worn glove. If they get Rooney it’s a definite.

And The Other Three Will Be – Man City, Man United, and Arsenal

City are still far too strong to finish anywhere but second and despite being wobblier than a pensioner on a skateboard, it’s inconceivable to me that United won’t finish in the top four. I mean, can you actually picture Manchester United finishing 6th? It’s madness. Arsenal to round out the pack after everyone slates Wenger for not spending tens of millions, the team not getting off to a good start, and him wearing an even bigger coat.

The Human Wengerpede

The Three Relegated Teams Will Be – Crystal Palace, Cardiff City, The Hull City Tigers™

I have my doubts about Sunderland. And Newcastle were appalling last season, as were Aston Villa. But looking at the teams of the newly promoted sides I can see nothing by relegation. Hull might battle with 17th but the other two will seriously struggle.

The Player Of The Year Will Be – Juan Mata

This is still running along the theory of Chelsea winning the league. Mata is an incredible player who has a hand in most good things that the Blues do, and his vision, passing, finishing, and ethic made him a serious contender for the award last season. Usually it goes to a scorer though so RVP will probably press him.

The Young Player Of The Year Will Be – Christian Benteke

Absolutely robbed last season, the Belgian 22 year old had a stunning season for Villa banging in 23 goals in 39 apps in two competitions. Villa were shocking last season and he pretty much singlehandedly saved them from relegation. If he can do the same thing again, it’s his.

The First Sacking Will Be – Martin Jol

Now this may seem odd considering that yesterday, I wrote about how well Fulham have done in the window so far, and everything in my mind is screaming Monsieur Alain Pardeux will be the first to go. But how many times have you seen a change of manager accompany a change of owner? As discussed yesterday, the new owner hasn’t really spent much money through Jol, maybe that’s because he’s waiting for his ideal coach to take over…

Souness. Because Khan loves moustaches so much

The Top Scorer Will Be – Edin Dzeko

Nearly impossible to pick between the ‘big boys’ of RVP, Aguero, Suarez, and this fellow. RVP has the law of doubt against him, as in, I doubt he can do it for another season in a row, Suarez will miss the first six games and will then take a while to get back in the swing. And Aguero just misses out to Dzeko for me.

He’s not everyone’s cup of tea and he didn’t look stunning last season, but he’s been on fire in pre-season and Pellegrini seems to favour him up front. No Chelsea player in with a shout due to them sharing the goals out because: Torres.

The Champions League Winners Will Be – Bayern Munich

No one has ever defended their CL title since the competition was created, but wouldn’t it just be like Guardiola to break that record? Although he failed to do so at Barca, Munich’s team looks as strong and deep, as it does unbeatable. How do you improve on perfection? You get Guardiola in.

The Europa League Winners Will Be – Fiorentina

I’ve avoided the route of picking a drop-out from the CL as the winners because that’s cheating and they should never have made the rule. I wanted to say Tottenham because on paper – it’s theirs. But Spurs have a knack of never looking at that paper. Fiorentina had a good season last year and the signing of Mario Gomez swung it for me.

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